I've come to the realization that I can't rely on anyone and that, at some point, everyone is bound to disappoint me. Well, I was never really the type of person to let others know how I truly felt. I would tell everyone about the superficial things about me or just random thoughts that mean nothing to me. But, to really know what I was thinking or how I'm feeling, that's very rare for those around me.
And you would think that after 23 years of getting burned, I would learn that those rare instances must be completely extinguished. But, of course, I'm stubborn. So I constantly put myself out there and make friends who I think I can trust... only, of course, to be burned again. I hate this. Why is it that you can be such a good friend to someone but for some reason never receive the same consideration? I feel like I'm hoping for something that isn't coming. Being in Pittsburgh has made me feel, well, a little bit down. I really feel alone... literally, alone and very disappointed.
But I've gone through much worse in my life... this lonely feeling, these wave of disappointments, and this sadness means nothing. I'll get over it... I always always always do.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Well... I've been gone for a while, huh.
Hi everyone. Okay, sorry for the long hiatus. Things have been pretty busy in school and I haven't really had time to reflect on my dental school experience. Let me just take the time to reflect now.
Last Friday, I turned in my waxing project. It was for the tooth #8 and #24. Basically, this entailed heating up my instruments, dipping them in wax, grabbing the melted wax, and pouring it on a base. Once I have built up a wax base, then I carve a tooth from it paying particular attention to the anatomical structure of the tooth. It was a very interesting experience and thankfully, I am not as bad as I thought I would be. This week we are waxing #11 which is one of the canines. I also have kind of like a practical exam, they are testing if we can put a rubber dam and isolate the lower right quadrant teeth. I have to stay after school and practice doing that. I think they are giving us 15 minutes to finish that task. The pros can do it in less than a minute but since we are working on mannequins, it takes a bit longer and it's a little bit harder.
Besides that, I have been having lots of fun with the people here. I met some pretty awesome people and it's great that I am forming a family of friends within the dental school. It is hard to live by myself and be so far away from home, so friends are definitely welcome. We do some pretty fun stuff. Today, Hsiao, Christie, and I congregated at my place for a mini potluck. It was awesome. Hsiao makes the best lemon bars and Christie made ooey, gooey, awesome Ghirardelli brownies. I contributed corned beef, Thai basil beef, and overcooked edamame. But whatever, I know they appreciate whatever I made so that's fun. And on Friday, Devin, JWo, Hsiao, and I entered Walnut Street and had some Thai food. It was kinda funny because you have to rank the heat of your food when you are making your orders... it was funny fighting over the numbers... "Give me a 10... no an 8.... okay, I'll be brave, a 10 then."
The past couple of weeks, I have also been able to go bowling (though I just chilled and didn't actually bowl). Actually, I won the game since Hsiao bowled for me and had the highest score. I found a place for good boba (that Taiwanese cafe), went to an ASDA picnic (which I like to call the peak of my relationship w/ a certain someone... hahahaha.... don't bother asking, it's kinda stupid and really lame), went to two different churches as well as church at home, and many more.
On Monday, September 22nd, and Tuesday, September 23rd, I have the first of my exams in Biochem and Histology, respectively. Yikes. I hope that everything goes well.
Lots and lots and lots of love,
Janel
Last Friday, I turned in my waxing project. It was for the tooth #8 and #24. Basically, this entailed heating up my instruments, dipping them in wax, grabbing the melted wax, and pouring it on a base. Once I have built up a wax base, then I carve a tooth from it paying particular attention to the anatomical structure of the tooth. It was a very interesting experience and thankfully, I am not as bad as I thought I would be. This week we are waxing #11 which is one of the canines. I also have kind of like a practical exam, they are testing if we can put a rubber dam and isolate the lower right quadrant teeth. I have to stay after school and practice doing that. I think they are giving us 15 minutes to finish that task. The pros can do it in less than a minute but since we are working on mannequins, it takes a bit longer and it's a little bit harder.
Besides that, I have been having lots of fun with the people here. I met some pretty awesome people and it's great that I am forming a family of friends within the dental school. It is hard to live by myself and be so far away from home, so friends are definitely welcome. We do some pretty fun stuff. Today, Hsiao, Christie, and I congregated at my place for a mini potluck. It was awesome. Hsiao makes the best lemon bars and Christie made ooey, gooey, awesome Ghirardelli brownies. I contributed corned beef, Thai basil beef, and overcooked edamame. But whatever, I know they appreciate whatever I made so that's fun. And on Friday, Devin, JWo, Hsiao, and I entered Walnut Street and had some Thai food. It was kinda funny because you have to rank the heat of your food when you are making your orders... it was funny fighting over the numbers... "Give me a 10... no an 8.... okay, I'll be brave, a 10 then."
The past couple of weeks, I have also been able to go bowling (though I just chilled and didn't actually bowl). Actually, I won the game since Hsiao bowled for me and had the highest score. I found a place for good boba (that Taiwanese cafe), went to an ASDA picnic (which I like to call the peak of my relationship w/ a certain someone... hahahaha.... don't bother asking, it's kinda stupid and really lame), went to two different churches as well as church at home, and many more.
On Monday, September 22nd, and Tuesday, September 23rd, I have the first of my exams in Biochem and Histology, respectively. Yikes. I hope that everything goes well.
Lots and lots and lots of love,
Janel
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